Deciding to quit

[Buddha]

When I was a player, I didn't play when she was awake. When I was a DM, I didn't play when she was awake. When I built/scripted stuff, I didn't do so when she was awake.

+2

[Havoulov]

Unfortunatelly not +3 but the rule about not talking about avlis is wise...it multiplies the hours dealing/thinking about it and it decreases the significant others significance.... danger!

I am lucky that we both work nights in diferent days so the future is bright (dark )

Looking forward to an internet connection!

[Tigg]

The first rule of Avlis is: you do not talk about Avlis.

... with your significant other.

Yeah, I know, now a bunch of you are going to post and say your significant other loves Avlis, or doesn't mind you droning on about it for hours, or plays it with you, or loves games as much as you do.

Congratulations, as a couple you make up 0.00001% of the population.

For the rest of us geeks who somehow managed to find a prospective mate despite our geekiness - and one who doesn't share our RP interests - life ain't as easy. I don't talk to my wife about Avlis. She has no interest in RP, and I can dig that - I have no interest in flower arranging, and I wouldn't want to hear her talk about it all the time.

When I was a player, I didn't play when she was awake. When I was a DM, I didn't play when she was awake. When I built/scripted stuff, I didn't do so when she was awake. Which left me to do those things when she was out of the house or sleeping. Which actually turned out to be great for us, because when we are together we do stuff together, and when she wants to go see some New Age music concert then I knew I could fire up the laptop and get in a good 5-6 hours.

lol! woot for the .00001%! heh

though to be fair, she just tolerates it, which is all I ask. plus she likes to keep tabs on me and with NWN she knows what I'll be doing when she's out of town

I do have to say, if she somehow had the idea that this wasn't something I really enjoyed doing, she wouldn't know the real me. And while Avlis time must give way to more important things sometimes, if she tried to shut me down from it completely I'd feel stifled in some core kind of way. Luckily neither of those are the case. It doesn't hurt that she's got strong hobbies and interests of her own... (which, from the sound of things from the other room, includes awful TV shows... have to really have a talk with her about that... )

[Spartan]

I know I said "going away forever" or something like that, and made it sound all dramatic and everything, but I was planning on not playing for quite a while... Anyway... I'm going to jump on, and hopefully see someone IG

Don't feel bad. EVERYONE does this

[girlysprite]

Well my bf doesnt like avlis when I talk too much about it. Espacially when I meet other players I have to make sure we dont talk about avlis too much. The reason is that we shut others out that way. Others cant talk along because they dont know Avlis. And when all you talk about is that...a recipy for bitching from others.

But hey, I think I've said it before. An important part of a relation is talking, and balancing out (of everything, which includes big hobbies like games).

[Spartan]

Pet peeve but it's not rants

I think some people have the tendency to over do it in a bad way when it comes to relationships avlis and "quitting"

The minute someone wakes up their checking the message boards and replying to all the messages they missed. Wanna go on a date? Can't, there is a guild meeting tonight at 9. When someone DOES go out the minute they get home they need to hope on the internet/game/server and see what they missed.

The community replaces real life. How frustrating would that be for someone? It's easy to see how a partner would see avlis as a threat or compitition.

Example is this thread.
Starts off with the title deciding to quit avlis. Okay, someones quitting. Then in the first paragraph he's taking an extended break. People pat him on the back, say he will be missed and hope he comes back soon. After two pages we find out that he's agreed to play avlis less- but hes logging in 'right now' and hopes to find someone in game.

It's a bandaid solution and i can guarentee the GF won't be happy with how fast her boyfriend gets caught up in NWN again.

You never know what you have until you loose it. Your GF may seem supportive but while you have your nose in the computer game someone else might be making the move on her. Guys know what to say
"Your boyfriend got home from work and spent his hour before bed playing the game that he promised to play les on instead of spending it with you? Wow i'd never do that, i'd spend that time talking to you bla bla hey nice boots.."

Before you know it all the promises about quitting in the world wont matter, you'll be dateless. Taking a serious break ( not the i quit for 2 days now im back) and then returning to the game is a lot easier than getting a girlfriend back.

[Darkfire]

She shares the RP interest, she doesnt have a computer with internet connection

[toxygenie]

Before you know it all the promises about quitting in the world wont matter, you'll be dateless. Taking a serious break ( not the i quit for 2 days now im back) and then returning to the game is a lot easier than getting a girlfriend back.

Sagely Always arrange the game around RL and not vice versa.

[Pekarion]

Installing NWN and getting it to work = way harder than getting a girlfriend

and that's from someone who is both ugly and technologically retarded

[Levis Pie]

Pet peeve but it's not rants

I think some people have the tendency to over do it in a bad way when it comes to relationships avlis and "quitting"

The minute someone wakes up their checking the message boards and replying to all the messages they missed. Wanna go on a date? Can't, there is a guild meeting tonight at 9. When someone DOES go out the minute they get home they need to hope on the internet/game/server and see what they missed.

The community replaces real life. How frustrating would that be for someone? It's easy to see how a partner would see avlis as a threat or compitition.

Example is this thread.
Starts off with the title deciding to quit avlis. Okay, someones quitting. Then in the first paragraph he's taking an extended break. People pat him on the back, say he will be missed and hope he comes back soon. After two pages we find out that he's agreed to play avlis less- but hes logging in 'right now' and hopes to find someone in game.

It's a bandaid solution and i can guarentee the GF won't be happy with how fast her boyfriend gets caught up in NWN again.

You never know what you have until you loose it. Your GF may seem supportive but while you have your nose in the computer game someone else might be making the move on her. Guys know what to say
"Your boyfriend got home from work and spent his hour before bed playing the game that he promised to play les on instead of spending it with you? Wow i'd never do that, i'd spend that time talking to you bla bla hey nice boots.."

Before you know it all the promises about quitting in the world wont matter, you'll be dateless. Taking a serious break ( not the i quit for 2 days now im back) and then returning to the game is a lot easier than getting a girlfriend back.

Just so you know when I said that i'd get on right now, that's the only time I've played since then. ANd I haven't talked about it at all.

[Micah]

I'll throw in a "+" do the Jan1t0rz comment...

Hehehe, what I do is this:

"Honey, I need to be on for 6 hours on Saturday afternoon two weeks from now. In exchange, I'll do the dishes all next week, cook anything you want, and I promise you as much time as you can stand before and afterwards... please don't hit me!"

She calls Micah my "other lover" ... but she's more jealous of the time I spend at work than the time I spend on avlis. While not into RP herself, she loves a good story, and keeps close tabs on the [mis]adventures of my PC.

[Vercongetorix]

I can only offer the shock of my wife the other night when I explained the number of players that play on Avlis...she was surprised that there were (her words not mine so don't hurt me) "that many nerds out there".

Of course she followed that up with one of my favorite all time quotes from her "but then again I guess I shouldn't be surprised that you'd find them all".

Seriously though the only thing that really bothers my wife is if I play every night or if I let my play get in the way of saying goodnight to her...that really pisses her off.

[TripleAught]

*looks for more geeks to introduce Vercon to*

[EvokedShade]

I hope you make it back. I didn't think I would but here I am after 6 months and no one knows me! lol.. ok a few do but anway.. people know you and will be happy to see you back. So come back soon will ya?

[anodynes]

I can tell you from experience that a valued life-partner / spouse just wants a commiment from the Avlis player just as Avlis wants a commitment from the player. But then you can only do so much and stretch yourself without sleep for so long before you burn out. At some point you have to list your priorities out and decide what is really important.

Seriously, there should be time for both Avlis and a significant other in your life. But, when both call at the same time you have to ask yourself, which do I owe more to? Which one is going to be around longer? Am I really cheating one by spending so much time with the other?

It's a definate balance game not to be taken lightly. Sometimes the only thing to do is give one of them up... and that is best done 'cold-turkey', 'don't look back'.

[Highwayman]

Okay everyone here is how it went:

She never got mad that he was an Avlis fanatic or even that he played it a lot, she got mad because when she would actually be sitting there with him he would barely notice her.

Example
She sat at his brother's house for two hours and the only time he got up from the computer was because she was leaving.

Besides everything is pretty much sorted out by now, they both know the problem and have it under control

[denor firefly]

My girl doesn't mind Avlis but she hates my pen and paper addiction. When I am in a mastering shape I start putting up strange heroic phrases. Well she hates every friday since I have no time for her.

but she always wins when she asks for attention