) for such an important event that directly involved and profoundly affected my character, with the result that my RP was really awful in the moment.So, I need to apologize, and clarify. I know people will say I don't have to, but it'll bug me if I don't, so either bear with me, or don't read this; either way's fine.
BUT do read this paragraph: In order to write this I finally got the chance to read back through the log. I thought y'all's RP was stellar before, but now I'm even more impressed with everyone. From Sarith responding by immediately trying to use the Synergy Ring to Tor offering to do some cleaving, from Lily advancing with her dagger to Emick crying out “Oh, no, oh, no, oh, no!”, from Thienna ordering Krek to get Lexy away from Scellithid, to Finn's furious prayers, to Owen's final assessment: “Well this is fucked”, and all the many, many, many other moments from everybody else from which the above are only a small sample, every one shows so clearly that each character has their own unique and complex personality, and each player is committed to bringing it to life. It was great to be a part of that; thanks so much, and BRAVO!
Now, let the navel-gazing commence!: I am epically terrible at video games. I can't make Lexy walk and talk at the same time, and I certainly can't make him talk and fight; Lexy frequently dies while I'm trying to emote. Even when there's no fighting or moving, if there are more than a few people in a scene, I can't keep up, and my RP suffers. So a running fight with 30+ players (YAY, btw!
) and crazy lag meant there was no way I could read all the chat and do things and talk and emote. I wouldn't mind this so much, except that I hate to let Lexy down; he really deserves a more competent player even though he (and my other main character, an octogenarian) were designed with my limitations in mind.This also means, by the way, that sometimes I don't answer tells or DM requests or respond to things said or emoted because I miss them or don't have time. When this happens, please know I don't mean anything by it! With anything of that nature, if you always assume incompetence on my part rather than malice, you will always be right (I also worry too much; it has bugged me for weeks that when Easley said hi to Lexy, I missed it, so Lexy didn't say hi back
).So this is what I was so ineptly trying to convey when Scellithid made his grisly debut:
When Scel was first stricken, Lexy had just fainted from exertion, but he was at once jerked awake by Scel's cry, feeling his panic, looking around in confusion. Warned that this wasn't over, he tried to prepare. While Scel was drawing the map, Lexy did not interfere; he felt the urgency, and was mentally searching for the source of the danger, to counter it, to protect Scel.
When Scel screamed and fell, Alexis flew to his side to embrace him, and when Scel began to convulse in pain, Lexy instinctively, without thinking, empathically healed him, taking Scel's wounds himself (Lend Health 80%), but once Lexy realized what process was taking place he did no more of that and just concentrated on trying to help Scel fight it off, his mental manner toward the alien intruder that of a vicious little guard mink.
He was holding Scel as the transformation occurred; trying with all his might to reverse it, feeling it happen as pieces of Scel sloughed off in his arms. Lexy is deeply tactile and vocal, so he was touching and talking throughout, telling Scel to stay with him, trying to keep him there, feeling Scel losing the battle and being subsumed, feeling Scel fighting hard all the way, and making sure Scel knew he was right there with him to the last, fighting to embrace and caress the disgusting monstrosity and resisting any attempts to remove him.
Lexy almost never touches Scel, and tries as best he can not to show in public that he is madly in love with him, but this blew that completely out of the water; Lexy had no time or energy for pretense; it was patently obvious the only thing he cared about in those moments, the only thing that existed for him, was Sceluscio. He was frantic and urgent and wild and desperate and completely emotional. He obeyed no calls for him to let go and back off; he gave no indication that he even heard them.
Lexy did not try to defend Scellithid from any physical attacks, or try to get out of the way of them; his attention was all on the inner struggle. He was, however, determined to stay with Scel(lithid).
When the process was complete, and Scellithid shook him off and rose into the air, Lexy switched to search mode; trying to find anything of Scel that still remained. He never attacked Scellithid, or any of the other illithids; his sole focus was following it and searching mentally for any trace of Scel. He would have unhesitatingly followed Scellithid when it left, if he could have.
When Scellithid left, Lexy looked like he was in shock and completely exhausted, with a distinct PTSD vibe. He seemed preoccupied and slow to respond to questions, but he never broke down, and his mind was racing; his sole focus, then and thereafter, was on Getting Scel Back At Any Cost. The victory against the erratic barely registered, nor did Yshae's or Deo's deaths (not that he didn't care about the deaths; he just didn't have the mental/emotional bandwidth for that until later).
After that, things quieted down a bit and I was able to RP adequately again. Okay, I feel better now.
What we all saw was an impossible situation, vulnerability, panic, and emotions. The sloppy adds authenticity. Life isn't scripted. Good RP isn't either.
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