Scared ……. and Alone?
Posted: Wed Jul 31, 2024 10:28 am
Scared ……. and Alone?
This is the way the world ends,
Not with a bang but a whimper
(Eliot)
Warning - perhaps TMI?
Many years ago, around 1959 or 1960, my parents and I moved into a tiny cottage in a small village.
I still live in that cottage. Originally it was rented, then the Lady of the Manor bequeathed it to my Mother when she died. My Mother died in 1982 and left it to my Father. I acted as his Carer for the next 25 years until he died. Since then, I have lived alone, with only a dog for company.
The cottage is tiny and nothing special but it is mine, with no mortgage or debts.
I was perfectly happy to continue like that. The only time I have ever truly felt lonely was when I lost my previous dog. With no remaining nearby loved ones, there was nobody else to comfort me when she died.
Curiously enough, this situation has been destroyed by my dog, although of course by accident.
Last Thursday, which happened to be my 71st Birthday, the dog jumped onto my lap. Unfortunately, her paw caught me in a very delicate spot. No problem. We have all been there. Uncomfortable for a short time, but it soon wears off.
However, this time it hasn’t. The part of the anatomy has swollen and is painful. I had surgery there over 50 years ago, so maybe that left it a little more delicate?
One problem:
If I go anywhere near a doctor, that will lead to a stay in hospital. Firstly, 71 is not a good age for a hospital visit and a general anaesthetic. Secondly, I have nobody left to take care of my dog.
I cannot bear the thought of losing my dog or living alone, especially when I return from hospital, so that cannot happen.
The DogsTrust will care for her if I die but they don’t help with hospital visits. My only way to avoid losing my dog is just to cope with the pain and stay away from the doctor.
Either way, this has demonstrated just how fragile my life was. I had hoped things would have continued for a good few years yet.
Sorry about the above - please ignore
This is the way the world ends,
Not with a bang but a whimper
(Eliot)
Warning - perhaps TMI?
Many years ago, around 1959 or 1960, my parents and I moved into a tiny cottage in a small village.
I still live in that cottage. Originally it was rented, then the Lady of the Manor bequeathed it to my Mother when she died. My Mother died in 1982 and left it to my Father. I acted as his Carer for the next 25 years until he died. Since then, I have lived alone, with only a dog for company.
The cottage is tiny and nothing special but it is mine, with no mortgage or debts.
I was perfectly happy to continue like that. The only time I have ever truly felt lonely was when I lost my previous dog. With no remaining nearby loved ones, there was nobody else to comfort me when she died.
Curiously enough, this situation has been destroyed by my dog, although of course by accident.
Last Thursday, which happened to be my 71st Birthday, the dog jumped onto my lap. Unfortunately, her paw caught me in a very delicate spot. No problem. We have all been there. Uncomfortable for a short time, but it soon wears off.
However, this time it hasn’t. The part of the anatomy has swollen and is painful. I had surgery there over 50 years ago, so maybe that left it a little more delicate?
One problem:
If I go anywhere near a doctor, that will lead to a stay in hospital. Firstly, 71 is not a good age for a hospital visit and a general anaesthetic. Secondly, I have nobody left to take care of my dog.
I cannot bear the thought of losing my dog or living alone, especially when I return from hospital, so that cannot happen.
The DogsTrust will care for her if I die but they don’t help with hospital visits. My only way to avoid losing my dog is just to cope with the pain and stay away from the doctor.
Either way, this has demonstrated just how fragile my life was. I had hoped things would have continued for a good few years yet.
Sorry about the above - please ignore
Sorry, I've been watching Jeeves and Wooster, but seriously, worried support for you.