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Cougar's wife

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Cougar's wife

PostAuthor: Cougar » Thu Jan 23, 2014 3:28 am

For those that did not read my birthday thread

Cougar wrote:Thanks everyone. I spent a quite day with my family. My wife let me sleep in and then made brunch of biscuits and gravy. For Dinner, she made crab rangoons, TGI Friday fried green beans, some cheesy potatoes, and a full pound of snow crab.

Overall a great day but it tomorrow that concerns me the most and gave me agony tonight. I had to tell my 11 year old son that his mother has breast cancer. That thus far is the hardest thing I have ever had to do in my life. She is going in for surgery tomorrow, err well later today. We are optimist and hopeful, but I will not breathe easy until she is in recovery. This is actually why my play time has been sporadic the last couple of weeks. If she calls I just drop what I'm doing even in the middle of a game and rarely then do I log out. If anything this has brought us closer together of late.

Now to get some sleep if I can.


The surgery was as text book as the doctor could have asked for with the lumpectomy. Her recovery from it is slow and steady. She has issues with nausea from the anesthetic and pain pills. She was wearing a path to assist with this but wanted it removed as she kept touching it. She is weak and somewhat frail, which concerns me as her platelets and blood count was low prior to surgery even though she did not need a transfusion. A stead supply of crackers and ginger ale have kept the nausea at bay for now.

Just as she is starting to get better we got news from the pathology report on her lymph nodes. The cancer has spread farther than was anticipated. Now comes the difficult part of dealing with scheduling chemotherapy and perhaps even hormone therapy. I am already researching other types of therapies as well.

The difficult part is my wife is already thinking her life is over. Being strong and optimistic can only hold her so long. Offering my shoulders and wishing I could just absorb the cancer into myself so she would not have to suffer. I consider myself a strong individual but this is tearing me apart.

I find myself numb and praying more often than not. Sleep is for necessity only right now, as I try to keep her comforted and yet a watchful eye and ready to assist where I can.

I offer my gratitude for the prayers, wishes, and good feelings on my wife's behalf. I will do my best to keep this thread updated as more news becomes available.


Thank you,

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Re: Cougar's wife

PostAuthor: Grunt » Thu Jan 23, 2014 3:44 am

So sorry to hear it. Best wishes for a full recovery for her, and better times for your family.
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Re: Cougar's wife

PostAuthor: LadyAwesome » Thu Jan 23, 2014 4:03 am

<3
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Re: Cougar's wife

PostAuthor: Brayon » Thu Jan 23, 2014 5:18 am

Prayers, Positive Thoughts, and Good Mojo headed your way man. Godspeed for a speedy recovery and praying for a full remission.

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Re: Cougar's wife

PostAuthor: Manuel the White » Thu Jan 23, 2014 6:32 am

So sorry for this hardship challenging your family. If you ever want to chat about it, please reach out. You may find we have some things in common. My prayers are with you and yours.

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Re: Cougar's wife

PostAuthor: l1t3r » Thu Jan 23, 2014 6:47 am

Wow, sorry to hear that man. It's a hard road, but our prayers, thoughts and best wishes are with you both!
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Re: Cougar's wife

PostAuthor: Darkfire » Thu Jan 23, 2014 7:27 am

Sending you as much positivity as I can, man. Good luck and stay strong.
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Re: Cougar's wife

PostAuthor: Nighthawk4 » Thu Jan 23, 2014 7:36 am

I know something of how you are feeling, as my Mother died of cancer back in 1982.

However, medical science has moved on a lot since then, so there is much more hope of treatment and cure now.

My hopes and prayers will be with you all.

Good luck.

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Re: Cougar's wife

PostAuthor: Seka » Thu Jan 23, 2014 8:09 am

My mother is minus a breast, a lung, and half her vocal cords as a result of cancer. (Never smoked.) She's been Stage 4 for 30+ years, which is practically a modern miracle, and is still going at age 80, mostly because she clings to her rosary beads and absolutely refuses to let the disease - or anything - take her. We joke that she'll bury us all, but it's becoming less a joke and more a distinct possibility...

Keep her spirits up, Tom; it's the best you can do, and it can work wonders.
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Re: Cougar's wife

PostAuthor: GunnJ » Thu Jan 23, 2014 8:54 am

My mom went through something similar, so I asked her about this. She said the hospital should have names of support groups in your area, get in touch with others who have been though this as soon as you both can. That's the focus - been through it - talking with others can help with that perspective on just whether her life is over or not, (cause it ain't,) and you can find a way to talk or vent with others in your shoes as well.

Prayers for her and you, stay strong.
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Re: Cougar's wife

PostAuthor: Moredo » Thu Jan 23, 2014 9:03 am

I'm sorry to hear that Cougar. I hope everything works out well for you and your loved ones. :umarmen:
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Re: Cougar's wife

PostAuthor: Gumble Tinkertumble » Thu Jan 23, 2014 11:11 am

It's hard to find the right words at times like this, except to say good luck and hang in there.

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Re: Cougar's wife

PostAuthor: DarknessFallsLight » Thu Jan 23, 2014 1:24 pm

Hang in there, you two. Hoping for the best and a good turnaround! It happens more than many know, despite all the tragic stories many tend to focus on. Just become another success story.
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Re: Cougar's wife

PostAuthor: Katroine » Thu Jan 23, 2014 2:49 pm

I am so sorry for what you guys are going through. I have a couple girlfriends in similar fights and I agree, get some support outside for both of you (all of you). Just having people to talk to about it can be helpful. I am sure I speak for everyone here when I say we are also here for you and can be a source of support as well.

If you ever want to talk/vent/anything, hit me up. I will be keeping you both in my thoughts.
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Re: Cougar's wife

PostAuthor: Manuel the White » Thu Jan 23, 2014 5:31 pm

GunnJ wrote: hospital should have names of support groups in your area, get in touch with others who have been though this as soon as you both can. That's the focus - been through it - talking with others can help with that perspective on just whether her life is over or not, (cause it ain't,) and you can find a way to talk or vent with others in your shoes


Didn't want to bring it up before but .. this. Caregivers also need help and support and it is NOT selfish to accept it.

God bless, dude.
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Re: Cougar's wife

PostAuthor: Hamlet » Thu Jan 23, 2014 5:48 pm

Seka wrote:My mother is minus a breast, a lung, and half her vocal cords as a result of cancer. (Never smoked.) She's been Stage 4 for 30+ years, which is practically a modern miracle, and is still going at age 80, mostly because she clings to her rosary beads and absolutely refuses to let the disease - or anything - take her. We joke that she'll bury us all, but it's becoming less a joke and more a distinct possibility...

Keep her spirits up, Tom; it's the best you can do, and it can work wonders.

Here's to more such life stories. Hang in there.
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Re: Cougar's wife

PostAuthor: Ninjar » Thu Jan 23, 2014 6:34 pm

Best wishes to all of you :streichel:
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Re: Cougar's wife

PostAuthor: FireFly » Thu Jan 23, 2014 8:54 pm

I will be keeping you all in my prayers. Keep up a positive attitude and seek out support groups like the others have said. A positive attitude goes a long way but it helps keep negative thoughts at bay. Sending you and your family all my positive thoughts.
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Re: Cougar's wife

PostAuthor: Cameron Klym » Thu Jan 23, 2014 10:19 pm

I am sorry that things are going the way they are for your wife and yourself. I can only offer my thoughts and prayers and support, such as they are. I will be hoping for the best for you two. My mother had cancer back in 1980, but survived it so I know a little of what is going on with you and your family. My mother is still going strong at 86. I hope that the both of you will still be here at that age.

take care
Cameron

PS: Manny is right, caregivers need support too, hope you do not burn out on all levels throughout all of this.

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Re: Cougar's wife

PostAuthor: Cougar » Thu Jan 30, 2014 7:26 am

Update:

We started the week off great with us both returning to work. On Monday afternoon my wife noticed an unusual bruise appear on her lower right calf. By Tuesday afternoon it really started to hurt, so we went in to have it looked. We discovered it to be a blood clot, small and in the early stages. The doctors were about to give her some blood thinners when the results of her blood work returned. This showed her hemoglobin had dropped drastically. So now we are in the midst of a second night in the hospital. They gave her a small blood transfusion to stabilize her. Tomorrow is a test I am not looking forward to, as they want some bone marrow samples to determine why she is not producing hemoglobin correctly. I can only pray the cancer has not spread to here and hope this is just a chemical imbalance from her heart medication she has been taking for years now.

I will post more when I can and apologize if I am not making some constant thoughts. I am on my tablet and working on less sleep than normal even for me.

Again it means a lot to hear such kindness publicly and in PMs.


Thank you all,
Tom
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Re: Cougar's wife

PostAuthor: Missian » Thu Jan 30, 2014 9:07 am

Thoughts are with you and yours, hang in there!
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Re: Cougar's wife

PostAuthor: GunnJ » Thu Jan 30, 2014 11:19 pm

we're here for you, be strong. :umarmen:
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Re: Cougar's wife

PostAuthor: Kanos » Thu Jan 30, 2014 11:58 pm

Be strong we are sending positive thoughts and our strength your way.
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Re: Cougar's wife

PostAuthor: Cougar » Sat Feb 01, 2014 7:29 am

Update:

I am still praying for strength to be better and stronger for my wife more than ever. The results came back from the bone marrow tests. Her breast cancer has spread to her bones, thus it is now Stage IV and thus the prognosis is not good. My wife is fighting even more so for her life now. The doctors say her cancer is not acting normal in any sort of manner and why it was so hard to determine the level of her cancer. She will continue to receive blood transfusions until we can start her on chemo. Unfortunately this is not as aggressive a form of chemo as we originally planned but it is more effective against cancel cells in the bones. I keep hoping this is a dream and I will wake up any moment and everything will be fine. I so want to scream but I have my son to think about as well. January 2014 will go down as the worst month in my life thus far.

I will not let her give up though and I will carry her to every appointment if necessary.


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Re: Cougar's wife

PostAuthor: l1t3r » Sat Feb 01, 2014 3:53 pm

Keep hope and faith, Tom, miracles happen. I'll continue to pray for you guys and send good thoughts your way.

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